Pink Elephants!

HIT THE TRAIL!

(Written on May 31, 2018)

Remembering those years when I so needed to do some soul searching: it was a little like I cut myself off from the world, some kind of autism, some kind of needed loneliness.  I was much younger then and in spiritual need in my early ‘30s.  My young adult years were restless.  Intuitive ponderings possessed me.  Life is a journey and until we have certain experiences we cannot fully know what it’s all about.  Hopefully, with age, one becomes more sagely, sensible and wise.

Not all people can actually walk back into the past.  I feel that I have that opportunity because I have lived in Argentina for a little more than 30 years and am now thinking about taking an extended trip to the USA where I lived before, where I was born.

Images cross my mind of what it could be like to travel in my “first” home once again.  It is a chance to reconcile with the past, to come to terms with people and places from the past, hehe, before it is too late!

On the other hand, I feel I have some kind of spiritual gifts to offer that I did not have when I was younger.  My songs, the knowledge, experiences and potential I have acquired. 

It is a good feeling to throw in the whole hook, line and sinker and not let things be left undone, especially when it is possible to go the whole nine yards!

There were people I could have visited in my life before they died and I did not go.  They were not very close to me, yet they were special people and I believe I missed important opportunities in not having last words with them.  “Let the dead bury the dead”, and while we are still alive, let us fill empty spaces with deep and meaningful experiences!  What good does it do to fuss, feud or fight?  It is so much more satisfying to sing, see, share and serve!

Dad used to say, “You can’t change the past!”  This is not a desire to re-do what has been, but rather a hope to live to the fullest while still possible.

Mom had cancer in her last years.  Dad apparently knew it and didn’t tell us.  Still, he let her do everything her heart desired that was possible to do.  He made her dreams come true.  She went to Hawaii to visit our sister and to see her newborn granddaughter.  Then she went to Michigan to see her half-brother, who she barely knew and his family.  She went to Washington D.C. to see her sister, family and another daughter who lived there.

Money was not an object to Dad.  Whatever he could do, he did.  He bought her a Louis XV imitation loveseat that she dreamed of, and insisted she get her teeth fixed even though it was so expensive and she doubted whether to do it or not.

My son, Angelo and I went with Mom to the dentist and waited for her.  She had asked us to accompany her.  Angelo was young and played on some stairs, crawling up and down.  It is one of the best memories I have ever had.  Nothing important happened, but we were with mom and she was relieved that we accompanied her. 

Later, after she died, Dad was lost and lonely and Angelo and I stayed with him.  One day, I went into the kitchen and found Angelo covered with chocolate Oreos, eating them happily and making a mess.  Dad entered and started to laugh at his mischievousness.  He confessed to his naughtiness.  Another day he came to the house with a red wagon and said, “I can take the food and goods into the house with this from the car when I buy groceries.  Besides, every kid should be able to play with a little red wagon!”

We went to lunch together every once in a while and Dad chattered more in those moments.  I remember his pleased, playful laugh from those times.

Then one day Dad got an old pink toy elephant mom had bought in a garage sale before she died down from a shelf.  It was a toddler ride-on type scooter toy.  

Angelo rode that thing up and down the street, all over the house and yard, everywhere, all the time!  He almost ate and slept on it!  We went with the sister from Washington D.C., who came to visit and Dad to Chama, New Mexico and to the Anastasi Indian ruins.  They are caves in the side of a mountain.  It is beautiful there with deep greens of all shades possible and the smell of pines and trees fill the air.  Angelo rode the elephant up and down the paths there energetically.  He did not tire racing up and down all afternoon.  Who knows what adventures crossed over in his little mind as he hit the trails and scooted back and forth?  You could see he lived life to the fullest that afternoon.

Finally, later on, after we returned from the trip one day a bolt on the wheel of the elephant broke and I stupidly threw the toy away.  When Dad knew it, he said, “I could have fixed it!”  It was too late!  It was a hard lesson to learn, but now I know to fix things when possible before it is too late!

                               By: Karla